Three Months at Home.

I've been thinking a lot about this post, how to word it, what to write in it. I considered writing it in June, and then in July and now here we are in August.

About a month ago I realized that I wasn't really telling many people much about Uganda. After this realization I shared it with a recently acquired friend who simply said "Why not?" which seemed like a simple enough question. Or maybe not.

Here's why:

1. It's really difficult to explain what exactly it was that I was doing in Uganda. For review I was completing a CIDA internship with the Uganda Cooperative Alliance where I was trying to help make a development project in Northern Uganda sensitive to the legacy of conflict in the region. This might seem pretty theoretical and unimportant but if you run a development program in a non-inclusive way or you provide the wrong types of assistance, this can aggravate existing tensions within the community you're working in and undermine peace. So it wasn't a simple case of doing something wonderful and humanitarian but instead trying to effect systems and programs which are not easily changed. This meant doing things like research and workshops which are interesting but don't make for great stories.

2. I feel some embarrassment and guilt about my experience. My placement was no walk in the park. I was working with a supervisor who had a background in agricultural economics and who was really good with financial management but not so great at Human Resources Management. I found out about 2 days before I was supposed to go to Uganda that the job description which had been sent for me was the same as for the intern who had, had the position the previous year. I found out after I got to Kampala that the organization never requested a peace and conflict officer and that it was suggested by someone with the Canadian Cooperative Association who had since left their position. This left me fighting an uphill battle to get what little work I could done. And because of a lack of interest in what I was working on in combination with inexcusable budget delays I didn't get as much work as I might have done and I've been left with an unfinished report which is making me feel incredibly guilty, yet it's hard to find the motivation to finish it when I'm not sure if anyone would ever read it.

3. I saw a lot of problems in development both through involvement as an individual and with the organizations I worked with. As a result I became extremely critical of the development system which is an important and relevant point of conversation, but not one that is relevant for most of my friends and family.

I also feel like I have already run most of these topics into the ground on my blog and they are also not terribly reflective of what impacted me most about my trip.

When I came home from Uganda both at Christmas and in May I was confronted with an overwhelming sense of calm. The roads are perfectly paved, people follow traffic signals, no one carries large shot guns, the police for the most part do their jobs well with a minimal amount of aggression, most people have access to food and health care and Canada is so much quieter than Uganda, it's almost unsettling.

Almost immediately after returning home to Canada I quickly began to develop a sense of annoyance with my friends and family over complaints they had about things like other drivers, the weather, the cost of clothes etc. These complaints are still bothering me although I have readjusted to my white-middle class position of privilege relatively neatly.

When I visited the Kibera slum in Kenya in December where almost 4 million people live in absolute poverty most of whom are under the age of thirty, it's vastness struck me. Here is a slum with 3 times the number of people that live in Toronto, who struggle to access food and health care and have no access to clean water or education. I learned about girls who risked sexual violence just to have the privilege of attending one of the few schools available to them. I noticed almost everyone carrying out their routines. Two things struck me about this. The first thing that struck me was how much untapped potential must exist amongst the four million people living in the slum and how if they were given the same opportunities that I had to access education and other opportunities I had received growing up that we might have advanced far past the point we are at today in terms of development, conflict resolution and even scientific advancement. The second thing that struck me there as well as throughout my trip, was how lucky I was to be born in Canada to my family, even with it's problems.

If anything these are the two lessons that I've taken away from my trip. Gratitude and the need to do better by our brothers and sisters around the world. This by no means is meant to suggest that developed countries should instruct developing countries on how to develop and provide these opportunities because there is more than adequate academic and anecdotal evidence suggesting that they absolutely should not. It's also not to say that there isn't also work to be done in Canada, or wherever you happen to be reading this from. On the contrary, it is far less problematic to contribute to development in our own communities through working with foodbanks, advocating for human rights or lending a hand it a friend in need and the results are far more visible. I believe if we strike a balance and consider both, including educating ourselves about human rights and development issues around the world.

And so, in my next blog entry I'm going to share some stories which profoundly touched me that I heard or witnessed in Uganda all of which I feel demonstrate the challenges to accessing development and empowerment and the courage of those who are working towards better lives for themselves and their communities throughout Uganda.