International Women's Day

A year and a half ago I had the pleasure to attend the ISIS WICCE Peace Expo in Kasese in Western Uganda. The Peace Expo invited local and national peace activists from across Uganda and neighbouring countries to come together to discuss sexual violence and child marriage. What was particularly striking about the event, was that it was almost exclusively attended by women from societies traditionally dominated by men.

Near the end of the Expo the Deputy-Prime Minister of the Rwenzori Kingdom invited all of the international participants, including myself, on to the stage and asked us to take an oath. The Oath was to reduce gender based violence in their home communities.

Last year I was in the West Nile over International Women's Day and trying to cope with the aftermath of the release of the Kony 2012 video. This year I'm at home and I'm ready to start fulfilling my pledge.

In Kasese I learned that there were over 3000 child mothers in a region with a population of just over 1,000,000. Many of these girls were the victims of rape or physical abuse and found themselves in their situations as a result of poverty and lack of opportunity to do things we take for granted like go to school. Gender inequality is far more deeply rooted in Ugandan society than just a few thousand child mothers. It seemed to be ever present in daily life ranging from the unwillingness of female participants to participate in group discussions in Lira, to learning about women being expected to kneel or bow before their husbands or other men when they entered the room throughout the country. When coupled with the necessity of working alongside expectations that women were solely responsible for maintaining their homes and caring for their children the burden of womanhood also appeared to be quite high.

So how does this related to gender based violence and gender inequality in Canada?

In Canada it's estimated that 1 in 17 women will be the victim of rape and that the majority of those women. Most rape victims are between the ages of 15 and 24, 80% of rapes happen in the victims' home and 70% of rapes are perpetrated by someone known to the victim (Rape Victims Support Network).

Further, it's estimated that half of all Canadian women have survived at least one incident of sexual or physical assault and almost 30% of women have been assaulted by their spouse (Canadian Research Institue for the Advancement of Women). Further, on any given day 3,000 women are staying in shelters in Canada (Canada Women's Foundation). In addition many women also experience emotional abuse which is characterized by name calling, alienation from friends and family and manipulation.

Of course the pervasiveness of gender inequality is also evident throughout Canadian society too. Media and popular culture encourage women to conform to a stereotype of a thin, young looking woman. Income inequality continues to occur throughout the work force and gendered language is prevalent in daily conversations, such as the use of the word rape as an adjective to describe something other than a coercive sexual act.

It's easy to explain a lot of this away as statistics. Many of us think we don't know anyone who has experienced what I've described above.

But we do. We just don't talk about it.

When I was 18 I met a man who was smart, funny and charming. After we started dating he didn't want anyone to know about our relationship. If he didn't get his way he'd give me the silent treatment. When I tried to breakup with him he would cry and beg for forgiveness.

When we moved in together he started calling me names, insulting my friends and becoming increasingly aggressive. One night he pushed me down, I blew it off feeling that I had provoked him. But it was only getting worse. At the age of 21, after a particularly frightening incident I left him. I might have left sooner but I didn't recognize what was happening as abuse because I was too embarrassed to ask my friends if their boyfriends were doing the same things.

When I did finally leave it was with a tremendous amount of support from friends who helped me move and gave me somewhere to stay, my mom and my aunt who gave me their time and helped me financially and a counselor. Not all women who face my situation, or worse, have that amount of support.

Women, just as men, deserve an opportunity to live their lives to their full potential in an environment free from violence and discrimination. 

I hope that we can continue to work together for a more equitable and just world.

Some resources:

Canada Women's Foundation:
http://www.canadianwomen.org/facts-about-violence


Canadian Research Foundation for the Advancement of Women
 http://www.criaw-icref.ca/ViolenceagainstWomenandGirls


Rape Victims Support Network
http://www.assaultcare.ca/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=49&Itemid=58

Women's Crisis Services of Waterloo
http://www.wcswr.org/