Thursdays at the Food Bank

The Dalhousie Food Cupboard is a distribution point for the Ottawa Food Bank. It's open Wednesdays and Thursdays 10:30 to 1:00 in the Bronson Centre. During the pandemic clients have lined up outside and been served either outside or inside depending on the weather. People who live in the geographical area of the DFC are eligible to receive three days worth of perishable and non-perishable food items per month. In pre-covid times volunteers interviewed clients to help better meet their individual needs. 

In March, the COVID-19 Pandemic reached Ottawa. I suddenly had to switch to teaching and working from home in my small one-bedroom apartment. These conditions were not what I had imagined when I moved in. 

Despite the fact I was still working about sixty hour weeks at the beginning of the pandemic, I was struck by a feeling of needing to do something to help. With training in peacebuilding and some limited experience in public health and emergency management I felt like I should have something to offer, but I didn't know what. 

So, I became what seemed like one of hundreds of people in Ottawa scrolling through volunteer postings. I imagined that I wanted to support the foodbank in some way, but whenever I looked their volunteer positions were all full. I was visiting the site often enough that I eventually realized when the postings were being made, so I logged on one Friday night and jumped at an opportunity at the Dalhousie Food Cupboard which happened to be in the same building my day-job had been in until we were locked-down. 

When I attended my first volunteer shift the following week I wasn't sure what to expect. No one was wearing face masks yet but we were trying to physically distance. After the coordinator and one of the regular volunteers sized up the new recruits, I was asked to help with the filing. It took some time to build trust that I was going to do an adequate job. 

Over the subsequent weeks I gradually transitioned into performing data entry, ensuring that each client's visit to the DFC was recorded. This helps to track visits and to ensure that the DFC has enough food to distribute on a weekly basis. I liked this job because it let me get to know the other volunteers and observe the other roles they were playing. They're all great and I hope I've made some long-term friends here.

Concurrently, I started baking at home. I initially picked this up because I was worried that the first lockdown would prevent me the tasty sweets that I knew would get me through this difficult period. I quickly realized that the recipes I was using yielded much more than I could eat, and so I needed to find someone to share my treats with. The other volunteers at the foodbank during our shared lunches seemed like the perfect choice. 

I initially started making bundt cakes but then I branched out and tried layer cakes. These baking adventures helped me to develop a new skill that I don't think I would otherwise  have, as well as building my relationship with the other volunteers. When I shared this effort on twitter one night under #createtogether, I even got a shout out from Joseph Gordon Levitt for my efforts *swoon*. 

As the summer went on the number of clients using the food bank started to increase along with the number of positive COVID test results in Ottawa. Many of the volunteers at the DFC are seniors and the increased case load caused some volunteers to suspend their work or take on different roles. As a result, I've had the chance to start conducting intake, which involves verifying people's identities and their eligibility to use the foodbank. 

I have really enjoyed this role because it has given me an opportunity to meet clients and hear their stories. I've shared excitement with people who have recently been released from prison or regained access to their children, and sorrow with people suffering from unimaginable losses, including sometimes losing their groceries at the hand of neighbours, from already precarious positions. I always felt that I was a relatively empathetic person, but I feel like this experience has really helped me to better understand the range of lived experiences of people in my own community. 

Working at the front door I also get to observe many of the stories being lived-out in the foodbank line. Some days are more interesting than others. We had a couple of weeks where several clients had trouble containing their emotions, leading to angry outbursts. The hardest part of this role for me is having to turn clients away when they have consistently failed to provide proper identification.  For the most part though, people are friendly and curious. The DFC's clients seem to have some of the gentlest, well-trained dogs around and it's always a pleasure when they come to visit with their owners. (The dog in the picture belongs to one of the employees of the Bronson Centre. I am her favourite foodbank volunteer :D) 

The best story from the foodbank line to date was by far the Christmas miracle of December 17, 2020. When I approached a single mom and her daughter to collect their ID, the mom leaned in and explained that a man had just handed her an envelope, said "Merry Christmas" and walked away. When I asked what was in the envelope she said "$400!". She was actually in line to pick-up a gift for her daughter. I hope the special gift made both of their holidays a little bit brighter. 

I didn't accomplish any of the things that I had hoped for in 2020. I didn't find a permanent job, academic or otherwise. I didn't get to go on planned trips to Toronto, New York or the Philippines or move to Halifax. I didn't buy a dog or make any progress towards finding love. I could drone on. 

I did however, find another piece of the puzzle that I have been searching for, for a long time. Community. 

Wishing everyone a brighter 2021. Let's get through the rest of the pandemic together. 

What's in a Year?

With lots of people reflecting on social media about their past year and even decade, it has me thinking about how to summarize what happened over the last year. In once sentence I think I would describe it as a year of heartache, unexpected travel and slow progress. 

Heartache

2019 started off with an expected loss that I was not in anyway ready for, which was of course the death of Paul Dewar. I've written about this in a previous post but enough to say that I continue to remember this man, who deeply inspired me, often. 

I was especially reminded of him working in his previous Parliamentary office in the first part of the year for now retired MP Hélène Laverdière. I very much valued working in her office, and had amazing opportunities to contribute to Canadian foreign policy through this role, but the job was also a struggle in many ways. When my contract ended at the end of May I felt like my long-term dream of working at Parliament had ended in frustration and disappointment. On a higher note I am delighted to have made some strong friendships with other progressive people through this role and so I do have something to be grateful for. 



In August I started a new role doing project coordination and human rights advocacy related to the Philippines and Palestine-Israel. That same month I traveled to the Philippines to meet with partners and learn about the human rights situation. I was most affected when we met the wife and daughter of Brandon Lee, an American Human Rights Activist who narrowly survived being shot in the face by a masked man in front of his daughter. During our meeting his daughter cycled through phases of anger, grief, guilt and normalcy which was very troubling to watch, and his colleague who had also joined us cried throughout our time together. When the daughter was calmer, she was making paper cranes, trying to get to 1000 to wish for her father's recovery. It goes without saying the this kind of attack is a serious violation of human rights, and was far from an isolated incident. In December the Executive Director of one of our partner organizations received death and rape threats after participating in a march for international human rights day. 

Soon after I came back from the Philippines in September, I also witnessed a cyclist get hit by a car, two bikes ahead of me. I helped to coordinate the response and helped to move her off the road. She was thankfully not as badly hurt as anyone had anticipated and me and another cyclist stayed with her until her partner was able to join her about an hour later. This incident has really stuck with me.

Unexpected Travel

My unexpected trips were really the highlight of 2019. 

In March I was speaking to a colleague at Carleton when one of the admins came to ask her whether she was available to accompany a group of students on a trip to Washington. When she responded in the negative I, jokingly, suggested that I could go, and to my amazement everyone agreed. It was a super cool trip. On the trip at the end of April we got to visit the State Department, World Bank, and Canadian Embassy among other amazing places. On our free day on the trip I also got a personalized tour of the U.S. Institute for Peace where several officials met with me to explain their operations in a response to a proposal for a peace institute that I prepared as part of my parliamentary work. Drafting that proposal was certainly a highlight of that role. 



After my contract ended at parliament in June, I took my first international vacation as an adult and I traveled to Europe visiting Switzerland, France and Germany. In Switzerland, I enjoyed eating fondue and chocolate and visiting local museums. I also saw my first opera, the Marriage of Figaro at the Zurich Opera House, and was pleasantly surprised to learn it was a comedy. In France, I enjoyed seeing historic building in Strasbourg and visiting European Parliament. I also had the pleasure of reconnecting with my friend Lukas in Munich, who I met on exchange in the Netherlands in 2006. It had been 10 years since we had last seen each other so there was a lot to catch up on. I also learned that Alpine mountain climbing is not for me :). 



My trip to the Philippines was also very much unexpected. Positive highlight included visiting the Asian continent for the first time, meeting my friend Hansky's parents and hanging out with the moderator of the United Church of Canada. Oh and eating a piece of cake at every snack time.



Slow Progress

Teaching has also been a major aspect of this year. I taught my first course at the MA level in the autumn of 2018. In January of 2019, I was distressed to discover that while I loved teaching that course, that I had received a relatively low (read mediocre) teaching evaluation. This coincided with some challenging interactions with students in a fourth year law and legal studies course that I had picked up in addition to my planned classes at the graduate level in foreign affairs. 

Although I was initially very disheartened to learn about my initial attempt at teaching, the mediocre evaluation sparked a major effort to improve. In the winter I sought mentorship from the Education Development Centre at Carleton and went on to take a Certificate of University Teaching over the summer. Although I felt that completing the certificate only contributed to minor adjustments in my pedagogy, it led to a major improvement in my interactions with most of my students. I am still learning how to work with students who are resistant to my teaching style and/or personality. 

In the autumn, in addition to teaching a re-imagined version of my original course I also taught a course on gender and development in French. This was a very challenging experience and I couldn't have done it without my amazing teaching assistant. 

I have also made some progress in my overall health. In 2019 I had more migraines than I had ever had, cumulatively, at any other point in my life. My migraines are debilitating and involve and hour of relative blindness followed by three hours of extreme pain and nausea. Luckily on a visit to the doctor I took the time to describe my symptoms, and my doctor suggested I might be having hypoglycemic attacks, and that I should start eating small snacks every 2-3 hours. Although it's too early to say whether this step has permanently alleviated my migraines, I think it has really improved my overall health. I have more energy, my skin is clearer and my weight is down (no more migraines to date either!). I'm hoping to consolidate these gains by becoming more physically active over the winter. 

Although I can't say I feel like I made a lot of professional progress over the last year in terms of being a development practitioner, I would say I've learned a lot about the Canadian political system, Palestine-Israel and the Philippines, which I guess is positive. 

What's Getting Me Through?

As you can tell its been a difficult year. My friends are always a source of comfort and support. I have also greatly enjoyed continuing to volunteer with an accessible children's class with Propeller Dance. Working with the dancers has been a major sources of joy and fulfillment for me. I also greatly enjoyed gardening over the summer and pottery in the fall.

What's Coming up in 2020?

My goal by the end of the year is to have a single employer and for it to be an academic one. I applied for a post-doc in the autumn, the results will be released in February and if I was successful I'll be returning to Halifax. I also have a couple of outstanding academic job applications and I am in a hiring process for a Foreign Service officer position at Immigration, Refugee and Citizenship Canada, although these are less likely to pan out. 

Until then, I'll be teaching my peacebuilding course and continuing plodding along as a practitioner. 

Peace